As a writer you must choose your character’s words wisely. Dialogue sets pace, controls tone, reveals character, and moves the story forward.
To write good dialogue, you must not think of it as a device. If you are trying to divulge information, you can’t rely exclusively on dialogue or it becomes telling. Use the dialogue to import some of the information.
Dialogue – good dialogue can save you pages of boring exposition. You can spend pages of exposition telling the reader about a ‘devil child’, the bane of his confused and fearful parents. Or you could show us the character with a short dialogue.
Elizabeth set the last of the groceries on the checkout counter. The cashier smiled down at Roddy with a smile as she blipped the items over the scanner. She had to lean across the counter to really see the young boy. Roddy stared back, unsmiling.
“Aren’t you a cute little guy,” she said.
Elizabeth saw the purse of his lips, the stony set of his shoulders. She clasped her hands together, the knuckles white. “He’s not very talkative,” she said hopefully.
The cashier laughed. “He’s just shy. Aren’t you little fellow?”
Roddy raised his tiny eyes to her face. “I hope you die.”
In a few short lines you have conveyed to the reader that Roddy is an unpredictable brat, possibly evil, and that his mother is afraid of him.
Along with the dialogue it is important to use both tags and gestural pauses. Tags are the (s)he said, pauses are tags with an action or gesture attached. As when ‘Roddy raised his tiny eyes’. Without them, we lose not only the pace, but information that brings the story to life. The mother clasping her hands, white knuckles, make the reader aware of her fear.
Most of the time you should avoid the use of adverbs in tag lines, especially if the dialogue expresses the description. It is redundant, as in “I hate your guts” she said angrily. The dialogue already tells the reader she is angry. But the mother’s ‘hopefully’ informs the reader of information not imparted in the dialogue and lets the reader know she fears an outburst. Be sure to vary tags and gestures in order to set the pace. (This is true of all aspects of your writing—all dialogue would be boring, as would all exposition. Use tagless dialogue when it is clear who is speaking. Mix up your writing with tagless dialogue, descriptive tags, simple tags, and gestural pauses.
Character and story revelation depend as much on the surrounding details as they do on the dialogue itself.
Revealing Characters
How a character speaks depends on the character. Children do not talk like adults, southerners don’t speak like northerners, and a construction worker doesn’t talk like a librarian.
It’s not just their vocabulary. Their words reflect so much—their background, motivations, inner and outer life—the words are barely as important as how they speak them. Cadence, syntax, grammar, even the number of words spoken, show the reader who your character is. A chatty teenager, a curmudgeonly old man, and a woman who just lost her husband all speak differently.
Know your characters—each one—and their dialogue will feel natural. If you don’t, they will sound generic and two-dimensional.
If you are developing a character from the south, don’t resort to phonetic spelling to reveal the accent. Use southern types of speech and gestures. A strong southern character can be shown. “My, my, the Reverend is sweating bullets,” she said fanning herself with the Sunday announcements. An Irish lass has a completely different cadence. “Well, you’ll have peace in this place, and none to trouble you. It’s near time a fine lad like you should have your good share.” Can’t you see her?
A word of warning, don’t let your characters ramble. As a general rule, no more than three sentences at one time unless there is a compelling reason. Break it up with body motions, something happening in the background, enforcing the scene or time.
Dialogue is not always a solution. In the wrong place, it can burden a story. Even in the right place it can drag it down if it lasts too long.
Exercise
Chose two very different characters and have them interact. A half page, for example a snobby real estate agent speaking to a lower income buyer, or a mother who wanted a girl ballerina berating her football quarterback son.
Utilize the different tags/gestures. Show the characters through their dialogue.
Write a short story using ONLY dialogue. No taglines, no description. Just a dialogue between two or more people. There must be a beginning, a middle, and a resolution. If you want examples, check out the FWA Collection of short stories Volume # 3, Let’s Talk.